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Mother-daughter conflict is as old as time and often the topic of many a classic as well a modern novel. Freud believed that the mother figure could very well be the root of all grown children’s neurosis, but it is probably much simpler than that. Mothers have the age-old desire to see their daughters achieve what they did not in their generation.
The Origins of Conflict
When a mother experiences fear or concern for a young daughter’s behavior she also remembers when she was young and how receptive she was to her own mother’s advice, talks, shouting matches. Yes, there is a progression and any daughter or mother can attest that sometimes advice and talk get bypassed and shouting becomes the way of saying this simple sentence: I love you and I am so afraid of you making a mistake that could cost you your future.
Part of the reluctance to say these very true and meaningful words is the memory of how obstinate she was at “that age.” Even if a mother has done most everything right herself in a mother-daughter relationship, there may come a time when she projects her teenaged behaviors, thoughts, and feelings upon her daughter.
Most good mothers are so, not because they had a stellar relationship with their own mothers, but because they did not, and they are determined to have a good relationship with their daughters. The intent and pledge to do so is so strong, that when there seems to be the least threat to that relationship, that sacred alliance, the mother lashes out at whomever or whatever poses the threat. Often that may be the daughter herself who at a certain and normal age of her development wishes to assert herself as independent of her mother.
Fiction is Fact
Anyone who was a member of the cult following of the Gilmore Girls (2000-2007) remembers the enviable relationship between Lorelai and Rory. The only times there were ever disruption to their harmony was when there was a male in Rory’s life that posed a threat to not only the mother-daughter relationship, but also to the brilliant future Lorelai saw for her daughter; the one she herself did not have, because of a boy that ultimately led to teen motherhood.
The juxtaposition of their relationship is that Lorelai would not take anything for her daughter. However, her cognitive mind recognizes that had she not become a mother at sixteen her life would have been easier, if not better. This sort of cognitive dissonance is the stuff for which mother-daughter relationships are made of. Mothers love their children, mothers love their daughters, but they wish so much more than motherhood for them.
If It Is Not Hate, It Must Be Love
When a mother and daughter come to an impasse in their relationship it is painful to them both, it may seem that they hate one another. The daughter may feel that no matter what she does, her mother hates her. The truth is that rarely do a mother and daughter actually hate one another, they simply find themselves at odds in the relationship. The daughter needs independence, and the mother is afraid to let go and allow her daughter to make mistakes; mistakes that could possibly be fatal, or at least heartbreaking.
There are no easy answers for any mother or daughter. However, open communication is a must. Even when it is painful. Even when there may be raised emotions and voices involved. No matter the issues, the words: I love you should be expressed often in the conversation. Even if these words are prefaced with: I am angry or I am disappointed, or especially, I am afraid. No psychologically healthy mother ever hates her daughter. She simply does not like the power that child has over her to drive her back to when she could have changed her course, and did not.
Daughters: Be Kind to Your Mothers. They Love You No Matter What You Do. Mothers, Be Kind to Your Daughters. They Love You No Matter What They Do.
 Missy Molloy, “Mother-Daughter Ambivalence According to Sigmund Freud and Chantal Akerman,” PSYART; Gainesville, 2014, N_A.
 Paul M Usita and Barbara C Du Bois, “Conflict Sources and Responses in Mother-Daughter Relationships: Perspectives of Adult Daughters of Aging Immigrant Women,” Journal Of Women & Aging 17, no. 1–2 (2005): 151–65.
 Susan J. T. Branje, “Conflict Management in Mother-Daughter Interactions in Early Adolescence,” Behaviour 145, no. 11 (2008): 1627–51.
 Molloy, “Mother-Daughter Ambivalence According to Sigmund Freud and Chantal Akerman.”
 N A Gonzales, A M Cauce, and C A Mason, “Interobserver Agreement in the Assessment of Parental Behavior and Parent-Adolescent Conflict: African American Mothers, Daughters, and Independent Observers,” Child Development 67, no. 4 (August 1996): 1483–98.
Branje, Susan J. T. “Conflict Management in Mother-Daughter Interactions in Early Adolescence.” Behaviour 145, no. 11 (2008): 1627–51.
Gonzales, N A, A M Cauce, and C A Mason. “Interobserver Agreement in the Assessment of Parental Behavior and Parent-Adolescent Conflict: African American Mothers, Daughters, and Independent Observers.” Child Development 67, no. 4 (August 1996): 1483–98.
Molloy, Missy. “Mother-Daughter Ambivalence According to Sigmund Freud and Chantal Akerman.” PSYART; Gainesville, 2014, N_A.
Usita, Paul M, and Barbara C Du Bois. “Conflict Sources and Responses in Mother-Daughter Relationships: Perspectives of Adult Daughters of Aging Immigrant Women.” Journal Of Women & Aging 17, no. 1–2 (2005): 151–65.
If you are a member of a family, whether it is as father, mother, child, sibling or an extended member, there will be conflict. The sources of the conflict can be internal or external to the family, as well as to do with the situation of one individual family member. Families often face even greater conflict when trying to agree on how to resolve the conflict, it is in these instances that seeking the help of a third party is in the best interest of the family, and very often the quickest route to resolution.
Identify the Source of Conflict
To resolve conflict within a family, the family must first identify the source of conflict. That does not mean pointing a finger at little Johnny who has ADHD and blaming him because of the amount of extra attention he needs. Chances are everyone is doing everything they can to help Johnny manage his ADHD. The question is, how is everyone else managing themselves?
For example. Johnny often leaves his things wherever he drops them. This means that getting everyone ready and out the door each morning for school and work means finding Johnny’s left sneaker before leaving. The shoe may or may not be found, but often not before dispute and some blaming takes place.
What can a family do to avoid such fallout? The source of conflict as the family sees it at present is Johnny’s ADHD. They are not dealing with the source of the conflict, they are dealing with the fallout. If the family knows that Johnny is prone to losing things, and recognizes this is a part of his ADHD, then the family should in addition to working with Johnny to help him self-manage, but should also find ways in which they can each help circumvent the problem.
Scenario: It is bedtime.
- If Johnny’s right sneaker is beside the stairs and is observed by older sister Julie, then at that moment she should pick up the sneaker and ask Johnny to bring down the other. This may take a while. Once the two sneakers have been reunited, place them both by the door everyone leaves from the next morning. Crises averted.
- In the event that Johnny’s left sneaker has been lost in the abyss that consumes little boy’s left sneakers, have a back-up pair ready and waiting by the door or some other place that is predetermined. Of course, the family – and Johnny- needs to make sure the back-up pair go back to their hiding place. As a natural consequence to help Johnny become more responsible and to self-regulate – the back-up pair should be his least favorite pair of shoes/sneakers.
- Mom, Dad, or Julie could take turns in following up behind Johnny each evening to make sure that his belongings are packed and ready to go. This helps to avoid the morning rush crises.
Accepting the Source of Conflict and Moving Forward
Yes. Johnny’s ADHD is a fact in this hypothetical story. However, it is not the source of the conflict. The true source of the conflict is the family’s lack of adaptability. Johnny has ADHD. This is a concrete fact. Johnny could benefit from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Most children with ADHD respond well to a combination of CBT and the proper mediation. However, and most therapists and parents will agree, medical treatment is trial and error, and there are no overnight fixes.
What this means is the family has to deal with what is. Fighting over what should be at this point is moot, and just complicates matters further. By identifying the real source of the conflict, families can find those easy fixes -and Johnny’s missing left sneaker without all the family drama. Seeking help from a mental health therapist could benefit Johnny’s parents; however, it could also present a red herring. Families often seek mental health counseling for family problems because they do not realize there are other options such as conflict resolution which may be more cost effective and less stigmatizing than atteniding therapy. .
Foley, Marie. “A Comparison of Family Adversity and Family Dysfunction in Families of Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Families of Children without ADHD.” Journal for Specialists in Pediatric Nursing 16, no. 1 (January 2011): 39–49. doi:10.1111/j.1744-6155.2010.00269.x.
Friesen, John D. “Theories and Approaches to Family Counselling.” International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling 18, no. 1 (March 1, 1995): 3–10. doi:10.1007/BF01409599.
Hofmann, Stefan G., Anu Asnaani, Imke J.J. Vonk, Alice T. Sawyer, and Angela Fang. “The Efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Review of Meta-Analyses.” Cognitive Therapy and Research 36, no. 5 (October 1, 2012): 427–40. doi:10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1.
“Managing Anxiety in Children With ADHD Using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy – Emma Sciberras, Melissa Mulraney, Vicki Anderson, Ronald M. Rapee, Jan M. Nicholson, Daryl Efron, Katherine Lee, Zoe Markopoulos, Harriet Hiscock,.” Accessed May 5, 2017. http://journals.sagepub.com.contentproxy.phoenix.edu/doi/abs/10.1177/1087054715584054.
 John D. Friesen, “Theories and Approaches to Family Counselling,” International Journal for the Advancement of Counselling 18, no. 1 (March 1, 1995): 3–10, doi:10.1007/BF01409599.
 Marie Foley, “A Comparison of Family Adversity and Family Dysfunction in Families of Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and Families of Children without ADHD,” Journal for Specialists in Pediatric Nursing 16, no. 1 (January 2011): 39–49, doi:10.1111/j.1744-6155.2010.00269.x.
 Stefan G. Hofmann et al., “The Efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Review of Meta-Analyses,” Cognitive Therapy and Research 36, no. 5 (October 1, 2012): 427–40, doi:10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1.
 “Managing Anxiety in Children With ADHD Using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy – Emma Sciberras, Melissa Mulraney, Vicki Anderson, Ronald M. Rapee, Jan M. Nicholson, Daryl Efron, Katherine Lee, Zoe Markopoulos, Harriet Hiscock,” accessed May 5, 2017, http://journals.sagepub.com.contentproxy.phoenix.edu/doi/abs/10.1177/1087054715584054.
The student who immediately comes to mind whenever I am asked about the student who most impacted my teaching career is a young man I met when he was an 8th grader, and I was a substitute teacher. I spent a few months substituting before I got my first teaching job in the high school where this young man would later be on my special education case load and then later have a seat in my 11th grade classroom with me as his general education English teacher.
I tell this story often as I feel this experience was one of the reasons I decided I would actively pursue my teaching certificate. I was new to Georgia, an individual with a Master’s of Science in Psychology who had just begun the process of Florida state licensure when my then husband was transferred to Georgia. Our daughter was two, and I did not have the contacts in Georgia or the family who were always there to assist while I continued my studies and internships. I thought it might be a good time to begin my PhD, as I knew that being a 100% stay at home mom was not something I could do. In the meanwhile, I decided to substitute teach as my work in Florida had primarily been with adolescents.
I was called almost every day to work in the middle school close to my home. The middle school and high school were next door to one another. On one occasion I substituted for an English teacher of an 8th grade class. As I called roll I said each name clearly and asked that each child raise his or her hand so I could be sure of who was whom. I came to the name Derek C. within a few seconds.
There was no response. I called the name again, and I noticed some of the students snickering and pointing to a shaggy haired boy sitting next to the wall with his head down. I walked over to him and gently asked, “Why didn’t you answer when I called your name?” There was no answer. The other students began to laugh and began talking all at once:
“Don’t mess with him, he’s crazy.”
“Yeah, he just got out of the crazy house.”
“Look at his arms, he tried to kill himself.”
I looked at these students in alarm and motioned for them to stop talking.
I stooped down beside the boy and asked again very quietly, “Why did you not answer when I called your name?”
He looked up briefly and said, “Because my name is Dirk.”
I looked at the roster to confirm the spelling of his name and stated still quietly from my stooped position, “I am sorry, the spelling of your name is different on the roster. How do you spell Dirk?
He raised his head and was eye level with me. He spelled his name and watched curiously as I crossed out the name Derek and wrote Dirk beside it.
The other students started howling at this point and said, “That is not really his name, he is just crazy.”
I looked pointedly at the one I had already identified as the ring-leader and said, “I am quite sure that Dirk knows his own name better than you.”
Others said, “Look, he only comes to school when they make him. He’s in the crazy house all the time. When he’s here the teacher just lets him keep his head down so she can teach.”
Still from my stooped position I directed my voice to Dirk again whose head was down once more and I said, “Dirk, I am very glad to meet you. You do not have to keep your head down in class for me to teach, but even if you do, I see you. I know you are here.”
I patted the place beside his head and stood. I then began the lesson which just so happened to be on a short story by Edgar Allen Poe. At that moment inspired and feeling on a mission I asked if the students knew anything about Mr. Poe. Some did and some did not. So I talked about his childhood and how misunderstood he always was as a boy and even as a young adult. I talked about how creative he was and how difficult it was for him to connect with others.
I had all the students’ attention, but I noticed above all, I had Dirk’s attention. The look in his eyes was one I will never forget. It was a look of a child who felt for the first time someone had actually seen him.
Later that same year, I was offered a job teaching at the high school next door to that middle school. I would begin on a provisional certificate and would take my special education certification course work through the University of Georgia. This was February of 2004, and I was replacing a resource science teacher who had been dismissed for sexual misconduct with a student. I was not a science teacher, but it was physical science and I decided to make a go of it. After all, physical science is logic based. All my boys- yes, it was a class full of boys – passed the class and their EOCT (this was the first year for the GA EOCT).
Even though I was largely successful with these boys and in this class, I wanted to team teach in the English department as this was a subject I knew well and loved. In the Fall of 2004, I met was given my new case load. The first name I noticed was Derek C. I smiled, crossed out Derek and wrote Dirk. Somehow the universe had placed this young man and me together, and I knew I had made the right choice.
I took my job as a special education teacher seriously, as I did my job as a general education teacher. I was not satisfied with managing my cases from afar. I used my planning period to check on these students to get to know them initially, and to communicate with their classroom teachers and parents.
When it came time for Dirk’s first IEP, I made sure that all his teachers were there and that we made a plan that he would be successful in high school. I was convinced that in spite of a specific learning disability that Dirk was extremely gifted. Yes, he was strange. Yes, he had dark thoughts. Yes, he was difficult to reach, but these were all my first clues to his giftedness, not an impediment to his learning. Fortunately, he had some phenomenal teachers that year that would form strong relationships with him and who later agreed with my assessment.
When Dirk was at the end of 10th grade year I knew that the next year I would not be his case manager anymore, as I was moving into general education as an English teacher. We held his IEP. Dirk was passing all of his classes with mostly Bs and Cs, but he was passing. He had really begun to work hard in high school and I felt he needed to be released from the stigma of special education in order for him to really shine. His mother was frightened by the idea as he had been served in special education since elementary school. Dirk was very enthused with the idea. All of his general education teachers and his team teachers agreed that he had made extraordinary progress. So we decided to allow him to fly solo in his English and history classes, but that for math, science and then later his senior government/economics class he should be in a team taught class, just for additional support even if he was not receiving direct services.
In the fall of 2006 I would have my first general education American Literature class, 11th grade. Dirk C. was on my roster, and it was not a team taught class. Dirk was very shy, very quiet, he always had been. He stood out with his shaggy hair, his dark eyes and pale skin. I made sure he sat in direct view of my podium and not in the back as he was wont to do.
As the school year progressed Dirk did begin to shine. His verbal responses in class were not on the level of other students, they were above. He thought on a much deeper level and when we began to read the works of the transcendentalists that is when he really began to connect with the literature, it brought him out of the dark and into the light. He needed to know that there had been and are others who question the universe and what has simply been accepted. He was another brilliant mind that had been crippled with Bible Belt education. He had been deemed weird, mentally unstable, and learning disabled because he thought differently, because he saw the world in different terms than others. His existence had been lonely. No wonder he had made attempts on his life. He is not the first brilliant mind to have done so.
That would be my last year in this school and district. I had decided to move onto a new district that I felt at the time would be a bit more progressive. I hated leaving Dirk, and all my students, but it was time. However, I remained in contact with Dirk through his teachers. He received the award for most unique senior project his senior year. He made all As and Bs, and he was planning to go to college, not a major four-year university, but to learn something that could allow him entry into the adult world where he really could make his own decisions. This worried me. I encouraged him to take creative writing and art courses.
I attended Dirk’s graduation and was warmly hugged by his mother and of course Dirk. His mother thanked me for my faith in her son. Nothing from a book or a class, just simple open eyed faith in the potential of a boy everyone thought weird, and dangerous.
Dirk would over the next couple of years send me his papers for review and talk to me of his plans, of girls, his worries over his best friend. I would later help Dirk in his grief over the untimely death of his longest and dearest friend. Today, he is married to a lovely young woman and is doing very well in his career. We recently met for coffee and he told me he would always be grateful to me for all I had done for him. I told him I would always be grateful we had been placed somehow in one another’s path, that each of us needed what the other had to give.
Dirk is in his mid 20s. He has not founded a mega corporation, he has not invented anything that will change the course of human history, or written a Pulitzer prize winning novel. However, he survived school and is a happy and productive member of society. He is happy with who he is and judging by his posts on Facebook, totally comfortable marching to the beat of a different drummer.
So in a nutshell, without ever having read a book on gifted education, while not even enrolled in my first education course, I did what all teachers should be capable of doing: Seeing a child and recognizing that child’s uniqueness. Recognizing that there has to be a more significant reason than “badness” that a child wishes himself harm, and does not engage with the world around him or her.
I advocated for Dirk from the moment I crossed out the name he had disowned and he saw me write the name he claimed. All it takes is one teacher who then engages other teachers in the effort. Any teacher who does not want to join in the effort to bring a child to his or her potential is in the wrong profession. Any teacher that dismisses a child based upon what others say of that child without looking into his or her eyes, without attempting to reach that child on some level, does not need to be in the profession.
I took a risk as his case manager in suggesting that we remove him from special education services. This label had been a yoke around this young man’s neck for his entire educational career. It was a risk worth taking. Teachers must be prepared to take risks for their students and on their behalf. This shows faith in the child and in ourselves as educators.
When I began formally learning how to identify and teach gifted students, I found that much of what I have done has been right, and it has also caused me to reflect on various ways I could have done things differently. It has caused me to be a better parent to my own gifted child, for as Baily (2007) states, parents, teachers, and counselors must think about and communicate with the gifted child in a different manner in which they would an ungifted child.
I did not take the gifted course as a teacher to teach “gifted classes”. I took it to make me a better teacher to all my students. Taking the class on gifted education aided me in understanding my own child and students I taught, it helped me to understand much of what I underwent as a child, and even now as an adult who is different. It also has validated what I have long suspected; I am drawn to and have an intuition about students like Dirk, because I see so much of myself in them. Gifted children who come from ordinary or impoverished families often find themselves lost and struggling to connect with others. This may lead to anger, depression, and simply dropping out (Baily, 2009). I was there… but I found myself and my own giftedness and am still striving to reach my fullest potential… to become as Maslow taught, self-actualized. My way there was to lead my students to their own level of actualization.
Bailey, C. L. (2007, October). Social and emotional needs of gifted students: What school counselors need to know to most effectively serve this diverse student population.
Paper based on a program presented at the Association for Counselor Education and Supervision Conference, Columbus, OH.
Dr. Burnett-Brown left teaching in Dec. 2016 due to irresolvable conflict with Cobb County School District. She is now a Supreme Court Approved Mediator with the Georgia Office of Dispute Resolution and a Diversity and Inclusion consultant.
This is not a new career for Dr. Burnett-Brown, but rather a return to one she began in Florida as a Guardian ad Litem as well as a family and adolescent counselor and mediator.
Dr. Burnett-Brown is committed to fairness and justice. In her role as a mediator she must serve as a neutral, and will in her role facilitate negotiations between parties that bring about the most equitable resolution for all parties involved. When children are involved in either education or domestic disputes, the best interest of the child will always be recognized and served.
Note: This story is posted with speical permission from “the boy named Dirk.”
Part Two in the Series: The Gifted Child Twice Exceptional Students and a Need to Raise the Standards of Teaching
When I think of those who are gifted, I do not think of students who are “smart” and make straight As. I think of students who are different, students who indeed march to the beat of a different drummer. I think of the Lord Byrons, Mary Shellys, Einsteins, Disneys, Thoreaus, Dickinsons, Poes, Oscar Wildes, Thomas Hardys, Galileos, and others who in one regard or the other were seen as social outcasts, oddballs, or perhaps even insane. In our more modern times, I think of the Robin Williams, the Martin Lawrences, the Robert Downy, Jr.s, Curt Cobains, Jim Morrisons, Jimmy Hendricks, Janice Joplins; individuals whose minds were/are so bright, so different, so busy they use(d) and abuse(d) substances to curtail their mental activity- to feel normal.
I often told my high school students that the mind of a brilliant individual is like a Ferrari, if not taught the dangers as well as the thrills, it can become deadly to the individual and even those around him or her. There has often been stated a fine line between genius and insanity. Hitler, Manson, Stalin, and others come to mind. If we continue as educators only to see those who are as researcher Renzulli (2012) notes, “school house” gifted as our brightest and best, we might find we are losing great minds, or either allowing them to run amuck.
I also feel that in order for these students to be identified and nurtured that our teachers need to, as I have stated before, not just be gifted certified teachers, but gifted teachers themselves. Too many teachers obtain gifted certification because they, “…cannot teach ‘these’ kids another year.” These kids being on-level students. That is not a very reliable prerequisite for obtaining a certification to teach students how to operate their Ferraris.
I find that in a standardized world teachers are not equipped or supported in the teaching of truly gifted students to color outside the lines. Teachers who become gifted certified so that they do not have to deal with discipline problems or have to differentiate the curriculum to meet the needs of students who need more support than others are generally rudely awakened. These teachers are ill-prepared for the emotional intensity of the truly gifted child, and may find themselves, as suggested by Grant & Piechowski ( as cited in Sword, 2001), unwittingly damaging the child by fueling anxiety in the child’s need for perfection. How does one perfectly color outside the lines? As a teacher of on-level students, I was often chastised, threatened, and cajoled due to my “unorthodox” teaching methods. They were considered unorthodox because I challenged my students to question everything, everyone. Even those considered off limits.
One of the statements I made often in conversations with administration is that we cannot expect to teach our students to think critically if we lead them to believe either by commission or omission that there are certain tenets that are to never be questioned. Recent researchers (Corriveau, Chen, & Harris, 2015)studied the performance of students who have been taught Bible stories as fact vs. those students brought up in non-religious homes and found that students who are taught such stories as the creation story, Noah and the Flood, the Tower of Babel, Samson and the Philistines, have difficulty distinguishing between fact and fiction. If we want our students to fully develop their intellectual gifts, we must first stop insulting their intelligence.
The most important action I could take as a teacher of students identified as special education or non-identified at all, was to lead them in the direction of finding their talent, their gift and to develop it. The hardest part of that for any teacher is breaking through all the scar tissue formed over the years to protect the child’s esteem.
Some ways in which I help my students find their gifts. If a child is good at art, some assignments should be tailored to draw (pardon the pun) upon that talent, and it can still meet the standards. If a child is talented in music, that child can create a composition that identifies the mood, tone, theme, and action of a work of literature. If a child has a flair for the dramatics, then he or she should be given the task of creating a skit or a one man/woman show to demonstrate mastery of a concept.
One of the ways I differentiated was through tiered assignments. Each tier was worth a different point value, so each student has an opportunity to make an A. 250/250; 150/150; 75/75, for example. Students perform better when given choices that allow them to draw upon their talents, interests, ability (Beckley, 1998) and yes, even to some degree work ethic. These projects each have a rubric and students are given that rubric with the minimum expectations stated, and that to meet these means a C for that project. When given these clear expectations – with Ds and Fs not even offered, students seem to naturally strive towards the A. Imagine that.
Teachers need to unlock their own Ferraris and get back in the driver’s seat when it comes to educating students. Administrators need to break down this word and do what literally translated it means. It does not mean to rule or govern, it means to provide care. Care and nurture to teachers, means they in turn can care for and nurture their students.
Beckley, D. (1998). Gifted and Learning Disabled: Twice Exceptional Students. Retrieved from http://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED424711
Corriveau, K. H. ., Chen, E. E. ., & Harris, P. L. . (2015). Judgments About Fact and Fiction by Children From Religious and Nonreligious Backgrounds. Cognitive Science, 39(2), 353–382. https://doi.org/10.1111/cogs.12138
Renzulli, J. S. (2012). Reexamining the Role of Gifted Education and Talent Development for the 21st Century: A Four-Part Theoretical Approach. Gifted Child Quarterly, 56(3), 150–159. https://doi.org/10.1177/0016986212444901
Sword, L. (2001). Psycho-social needs: Understanding the emotional, intellectual and social uniqueness of growing up gifted. Victoria, Australia: Gifted and Creative Services. Retrieved from http://www.darshana-ganatra.com/files/Psycho_social_Needs_of_Gifted_Children_Kopie.pdf